For the love (Liv?) of God, lock up your husbands and boyfriends—Liv Tyler is at it again! While attending the Dior fashion show at Paris' Rodin Museum during Haute Couture week, we spotted the single starlet trying to horn in on Janet Jackson's man, Jermaine Dupri. And you just know Miss Jackson can get nasty.

Oh, we're pulling your leg. Rumor has it Liv might be ready to hop back on the spacehog that is Royston Langdon again, following their recent separation. To quote Janet herself, that's the way love goes.

But quite frankly, we like Liv single. The thought of her sauntering around Paris and picking up on every available (and unavailable) male celeb in sight...? Zut alors! C'est tres fantastique!











PHOTOGRAPHY by ELIOT PRESS

Um, Dax, your lady is getting a little stir crazy without you!

We saw Kristen Bell on the set of When in Rome recently in the Italian city that shares the movie's namesake. She was apparently shooting a wedding scene and looked ultra lovely in her costume (don't get any ideas, Dax! Down boy! We know how you are. )

In between shooting scenes, Bell relaxed with, get this, A CIGAR!?

What are you doin', girl? Crazy kid.











Photography by ELIOT PRESS

If you're a 30-year-old single dad and it's your weekend to sit the kids, what do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?

You leave 'em with the nanny, of course, and jet over to Miami to party until the sun rises.

Kevin Federline breaks into a sleazy grin as he arrives at LAX International Airport in Los Angeles on Sunday following a weekend in Miami, Florida, where he reportedly partied until dawn and stayed at the hotel 'Mansion.'

What better way to get away from the kids, the very kids you're demanding sole custody of. Kevin, get your head out of your a** and admit it—you're just as neglectful and prone to weirdness as is Britney.

The court should actually consider awarding custody of little Jayden James and Sean Preston to Oprah. She could send the Spears brats to one of her African schools. That would take the celebrity African adoption trend to a whole new level.

 









EXCLUSIVE photography by MO

Seems Naomi Campbell isn't one to be outdone by fellow Brit Ian McKellen when it comes to summer lovin' in Saint-Tropez! Here's the menacing fashion diva enjoying a kiss with her beau, Marcus Elias.

That's probably better than her clobbering him over the head with a cell phone. Or an anchor. Or her stilettos. Or her rap sheet. (Yee-owch! That last one would probably hit the hardest!)

But, really, we like Naomi. She's like one of those wild lionesses you see in captivity at the zoo—sure, if you get too close, she'll tear your arm off. But if you occasionally throw her a live rat she just sort of slumps over and passes out.











PHOTOGRAPHY by ELIOT PRESS

Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi arrive at Moro Restaurant with a cameraman in tow while visiting Rome, Italy.

The couple has reportedly chosen a date for their "dream wedding" which is set to take place in Palm Springs later this year, as same-sex marriage has become legal in California.

"I think someday people will look back on this like women not having the right to vote and segregation and anything else that seems ridiculous that we don't all have the same rights," DeGeneres said recently.

A little pre-honeymoon, Europe action, ladies? You GO girls!











Photography by VENTURINI

Not one to be the victim of a Hollywood double-standard, Sir Ian McKellen appears to be saying, "Blimey! If George Clooney can date pretty, waif-thin damsels, then Gandalf's gonna cast his spell on the young'uns , too!"

McKellen spent the day frolicking in the blue waters of the Mediterranean off Saint-Tropez with his tall, dark and handsome young companion, though it doesn't exactly look like he was saying "cheese" when he noticed the camera off in the distance.

Maybe he shoulda used his Magneto powers to zap the device from the shutterbug's hand!











PHOTOGRAPHY by ELIOT PRESS

Italian businessman Flavio Briatore is in his late fifties. And yes, he has a proven penchant for supermodels, having dated Naomi Campbell and having also fathered Heidi Klum's first child.

What is the appeal, you ask? Hell if we know—these ladies are making their own money. So why do they need a sugar daddy!? Totally effing perplexing!!!

His latest hottie: Wonderbra model (no joke!) Elisabetta Gregoraci-Briatore who is said to be in her late twenties.

The couple continued their honeymoon bliss on Monday during a vacation off of the isle of Tavolara in Sardinia.

Good for Flavio, we say. He now has someone to change his Depends, you know, for when the time comes. And Elisabetta, if you don't think that's what you have signed up for, you are in for a rude awakening.

Flip through these shots at your own risk. Barf bag recommended.











Photography by OLYCOM

Wow. They're pretty progressive over there in Paris. Apparently at the Dior Homme fashion show, they'll let any middle-aged trannie hooker with a bad wig off the streets slink on in.

Oops. We're being told that's actually Janet Jackson. So like we said...

Other celebs in attendance were everyone's favorite 3,245-year-old vampyress, Karl Lagerfeld, plus Claudia Schiffer, Kanye West, Eva Mendes and sad 'n single Liv Tyler.





















PHOTOGRAPHY by ELIOT PRESS

Apparently the Jonas Brothers ignored our style note about their metrosexual tendencies, stepping it up a notch with heeled shoes and Pee-Wee Herman-esque garb, bow tie and all.

We saw the much-too-trendy trio (Joe Jonas, Kevin Jonas and Nick Jonas) shamelessly promoting their upcoming album "A Little Bit Longer" with a performance at music store HMV in London.

OMG, their stylist even put pink lipstick on them this time!

Afterward, a flock of sexually confused British boys mobbed the Disney-approved bros, grabbing at their skinny jeans and twirling their curly locks through their fingers.

The Jonas' left the scene slightly perplexed by their pleasurable response to the whole episode.

Okay, okay! We made up that last part. Jokes, people. Jokes! (And, for the record, Queer Eye guy Carson Kressley is not their stylist, either.)

 

Brendan Fraser strutted his seemingly brand new hair plugs around the Journey To The Center Of The Earth premiere in Westwood, CA, yesterday. It's all a bit confusing, though: does he look more like a My Buddy doll now, or Chucky?

Too bad no one told Brendan that guys who carry around giant telephoto lenses and make tough-guy kissy faces usually have a lot to compensate for.

Fraser was joined by his co-star Anita Briem, Dominique Swain and other people who'd probably show up to the opening of a new Chili's in Fresno.

But let's be honest—this flick looks more like Journey Of The Straight To DVD if you ask us. The original? A classic, no doubt. Slapping George Of The Jungle and a multitude of bad CGI effects in the remake? Suddenly Hellboy II ain't looking so bad.






























PHOTOGRAPHY by AXELLE

No, don't look at me! I didn't bathe in my usual tub of Evian today. I'm not camera ready. Just, just LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

Jennifer Aniston tried and failed to elude our watchful gaze as she arrived in Los Angeles on Sunday following her romp to London with her beau John Mayer.

We know what you did this summer, Jen. You can't fool us!











Photography by MO

Happy Monday Blog Jammers! There's a lot to catch you up on so let's get right down to biznass...

Bauer-Griffin Online witnesses the unraveling of Guy Ritchie and Madonna's marriage first hand! Consider yourself warned—it's not a pretty sight.

Pacific Coast News tells us why it's too complicated for Justin Timberlake.

INF Daily sees that Ryan Phillipe and his lady Abbie Cornish are making it public.

Splash News Online catches Amy Winehouse connecting with her fans.

A Socialite's Life has David Beckham consoling his balls. Ha!

Just Jared brings us an absolute abomination: Heidi Montag comparing herself to Jesus. WTF!?

What Would Tyler Durden Do solemnly (for him) bears the sad news of a successful young model who fell nine stories to her death.

The Gossip Girls wonder if Britney Spears is going to give us more at this year's MTV VMAs.

Pop Sugar pays homage to Hollywood's new class of rising stars via Vanity Fair.

Pink is the new Blog observes Prince Harry looking hot in his soldier gear. Hey, what's so bad about war after all?

Celebrity Baby Blog brings us a very pregnant Gwen Stefani with her already-born son Kingston.

Okay, We figured bargain-dress-wearing Jennifer Aniston must be somewhat flexible. She is dating notorious ladyhound John Mayer after all. But even this position has the randiest of us here a bit perplexed!

Jen spent the weekend with her wimp-rock beau in England, to support his performance at the Glastonbury festival. After dinner at London's La Famiglia restaurant, it seems they hopped in a car and a completely crocked-looking Mayer decided to...well, basically take Jennifer's head and twist it off.

Hey, when in London, ya know?

In fact, that's not even her, is it? That's one of those dummies people put in the passenger seat of their car so they can scam a trip in the carpool lane! Wonder if it vibrates and starts humming "Waiting On The World To Change" when you stick a quarter in it?











EXCLUSIVE photography by ISO

Oh ma gawd, Becky, look at her butt!

Um, yeah... to be honest, I don't even really know who these people are. But it's freaking AWESOME that they're as amorous as two dogs in heat at a Vegas resort pool.

I have ascertained the horn-dogs in question are Australian and Liverpool FC soccer ace Harry Kewell and his spankin' new bride Sherree Murphy, who incidentally played in the English soap Emmerdale Farm as barmaid 'Tricia Dingle'. Big surprise.

Hey you two, I would tell you to get a room, but it appears you already have one...

Go to your gaudy Vegas room!





























EXCLUSIVE photography by JASON M/BM

OMFG could it REALLY be true!? Is the end of the 'Mr. Madonna' era upon us??

We spotted a relaxed and smiling Guy Ritchie—MINUS HIS WEDDING RING!!!—preparing to depart from London's Heathrow Airport today.

Ritchie is believed to be traveling to America to hold crisis talks with Madonna about their marriage (she has also been spotted sans ring!).

For the love of Kabbala, Prada and Pilates, say it isn't so!!!

After spying a closeup shot, we're actually wondering if Madonna is breaking up with Guy over his icky hands. Look at those clammy paws! Ew.

And just where is Miss Diana Ross flying off to from LAX? Wherever the hell Her Rossness wants to fly, that's where!

The Supremes legend had a minor "Oh, hell no!" throwdown when one of her bags ended up misplaced at the Los Angeles airport. Of course, by minor we mean that the tectonic plates only shifted 15 feet when she shrieked.

Oh, Diana, give the poor airline workers a break—how were they supposed to know the stun gun you use to tame that weave was in there?











EXCLUSIVE photography by MO

Giving her typical deer-caught-in-headlights look, Lauren 'Lo' Bosworth is accompanied into Goa nightclub on Thursday in Los Angeles by a crew member from her reality show The Hills.

Yeah, we know—Lo is on the hit MTV show's B team. But we love her anyway, right?

Do any of you think that longtime childhood friend, cast mate and roommate Lauren Conrad treats Lo like a dirty secret? It's as if Lo is the stay-at-home wife who Lauren hangs out with only when she needs a pick-me-up. Otherwise Lauren is off to her daytime gig of "designing" (camon', you know she's just sporadically showing up at meetings and stamping her approval on someone else's vision), granting interviews with the press, and engaging in publicity stunts with The Hills' A-Team A/K/A Whitney, Audrina and Brody.

Lo, it seems like things were better for you when you were a Laguna Beach O.G. laying low in Santa Barbara away at school. You don't have to be famous, you know.

 









EXCLUSIVE  photography by GARRY

Ah, England's Glastonbury Festival...where else can pink-tressed pop dames like Lily Allen slap on their faux-vintage Max Headroom sunglasses, knock back a pint in a cheap paper cup and slither off in the mud to during the middle of the afternoon?

Well, actually, Lily probably skips off to church with that routine each Sunday morning, so it's business as usual.

At least the leggings were a classy choice. They almost distract from the fact that the rest of Lily's outfit looks like it was bought with food stamps from Woolworth's by a blind three-year-old. Cheers!

You know how the 'Naked Chef' Jamie Oliver can be really hot sometimes... and then there are days when he's, like, totally not...?

It appears as though his normally gorgeous-looking wife suffers from the same visually vexing syndrome.

We spotted the celebrity chef and his wife Jools as they arrived at their Primrose Hill home in London this week.

The two looked like they threw on some ratty old rags for a day out in the city.

Jools, next time add a little feminine flair—a shiny belt, a scarf, a raspberry barrette (and don't wear much more)—anything to keep those embers burning!