If you mess with Kirsten, you mess with meeee! Get near her
and I'll assault you with a passage from Dostoevsky's 'Crime and
Punishment'!... The gruesome part when 'Raskolnikov' drops his morals
and picks up an axe. Yeeeeaaahhh!
*weak attempt at vicious growl*
And if that doesn't make you stop, then... I'll use Kirsten as a human shield, giving me enough time to run away screaming like a little girl.
Okay, okay: While we cannot confirm that Kirsten Dunst's bean-pole hipster of a walking companion is her "body guard" (ya, right! *giant belly laugh at the thought*), we can confirm the actress was walking with the unidentified four-eyed drip around Soho on Tuesday as she carried a lemonade and some magazines.
Kirsten, dahling, I hope you're not fixing to date this guy! You'd break him, you know...*lowering to a high-pitched whisper*...in the bedroom!
Photography by CARLOS VILA/ANDERSON
*weak attempt at vicious growl*
And if that doesn't make you stop, then... I'll use Kirsten as a human shield, giving me enough time to run away screaming like a little girl.
Okay, okay: While we cannot confirm that Kirsten Dunst's bean-pole hipster of a walking companion is her "body guard" (ya, right! *giant belly laugh at the thought*), we can confirm the actress was walking with the unidentified four-eyed drip around Soho on Tuesday as she carried a lemonade and some magazines.
Kirsten, dahling, I hope you're not fixing to date this guy! You'd break him, you know...*lowering to a high-pitched whisper*...in the bedroom!
Photography by CARLOS VILA/ANDERSON
I am rolling all over the floor laughing at this. You are an absolute, qualified-like-no-other supergenius!!!!! What a mind to dream up these things-- beanpole? screaming like a little girl? Yeeeeaaahhh? I have NEVER laughed any harder than at this little blurb of paparazzi commentary. I hope whomever pays you gives you a big raise so you can devote every available minute of the day to lampooning Hollywood's elite and their *bodygaurds* (once again, ROFL).
Yeah, where is Jakeypoo when she needs him? In bed with La Wither, that's where. LOL.